3.24.2010

30 weeks...and counting

I felt like I should post something today - this being the day that I start my 30th week of pregnancy.  I remember when I first found out that I was pregnant.  I was experience some early pregnancy symptoms so I decided to take a pregnancy test.  To all you women out there who have been pregnant, I think you will be able to relate to what happened next.  I took the test and there was a faint second line.  A line so faint that I hardly believed it existed at all.  So, like any logical person would do, I took another test.  Then another.  :D  Same result.  Andrew and I went to the beach that night, with some friends, to stay for the weekend.  I can remember obsessing about it all weekend, "am I pregnant?  will drinking this cherry coke kill the baby?"  Even with the 'am I pregnant' obsession and the non stop questions that were in my head, I was still in complete denial.  I was also very exhausted.  I had worked that week, but no more than usual, and I couldn't figure out why I was so tired.  Since, in my mind, there was no way that I could pregnant, that couldn't be causing the fatigue.  


On Sunday we had to rush home for a church event.  After we got home from church, the first thing I did was take another pregnancy test.  Sure enough, the faint line that I had seen on the other tests was this time a much darker, more distinct line.  Even after showing Andrew and being given more proof, I was still in complete denial.  I felt like I had wanted this for so long....how could it actually be happening?  


The answer to that is simply that God is good.  I think that sometimes we purposely don't dream very big, because we don't want to be disappointed when our big dreams don't come true.  We think that if we keep our dreams small, they might actually become realities, and we won't have to face yet another failure.  When we do that, though, we are cutting God short.  Hasn't he promised us abundant life?  Hasn't he proven his abilities to us through his word and in other people's lives?  Doesn't he love us just as much as that other person that he blessed?  With God, all things are possible (Matthew 19:26), and even though we might not always get the answer that we wanted, that doesn't mean we should stop asking.

4 comments:

  1. i took a dollar tree test first, so of COURSE i was sure it was accurate so i took a second more expensive test.... but it was right on!.. who woulda thought??...

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  2. yeah, tests are so weird. I took a few and everytime it was weeks after being pregnant, but they would either read negative or faint to where it was pretty uncertain. usually only after doctor testing did I find out I was truely pregnant and much farther along that a test would have shown. so odd. I thought they are supposed to tell you the day after, not weeks after...
    and you are right - why do we cut God short? I guess, like you said, we are too afraid of being hurt or being disappointed if we don't get what we want, when we want it. we should know better - God does all things for good, and He only wants what is best for us. Yet we unfortunately still hesitate when trusting Him. thanks for the thoughts :) always good to reflect where I am with God.
    10 more weeks... So close!!!

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  3. That's funny! I've heard a lot of people used those dollar tree tests and they were accurate. Crazy! :)

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  4. With Jack, I really had NO IDEA I was pregnant, and by the time I found out I was 9 weeks! I took one test (only because Keith wanted me to) and it came out with a negative result... I took the second only because the pack came with two, but a few weeks later and it came out with a faint line, and I tried to ignore it. Finally after another few weeks we went to the doctor and we were confirmed when she turned the screen to us and said "there's your little bean!" and this tiny little baby with long legs was kicking and moving all around! I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT!

    This time, being planned, I took a test at 4 weeks and it was a DARK SOLID second line. I never took another test. So, now at 11 weeks, I assume it was acurate. :)

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