I felt like I should post something today - this being the day that I start my 30th week of pregnancy. I remember when I first found out that I was pregnant. I was experience some early pregnancy symptoms so I decided to take a pregnancy test. To all you women out there who have been pregnant, I think you will be able to relate to what happened next. I took the test and there was a faint second line. A line so faint that I hardly believed it existed at all. So, like any logical person would do, I took another test. Then another. :D Same result. Andrew and I went to the beach that night, with some friends, to stay for the weekend. I can remember obsessing about it all weekend, "am I pregnant? will drinking this cherry coke kill the baby?" Even with the 'am I pregnant' obsession and the non stop questions that were in my head, I was still in complete denial. I was also very exhausted. I had worked that week, but no more than usual, and I couldn't figure out why I was so tired. Since, in my mind, there was no way that I could pregnant, that couldn't be causing the fatigue.
On Sunday we had to rush home for a church event. After we got home from church, the first thing I did was take another pregnancy test. Sure enough, the faint line that I had seen on the other tests was this time a much darker, more distinct line. Even after showing Andrew and being given more proof, I was still in complete denial. I felt like I had wanted this for so long....how could it actually be happening?
The answer to that is simply that God is good. I think that sometimes we purposely don't dream very big, because we don't want to be disappointed when our big dreams don't come true. We think that if we keep our dreams small, they might actually become realities, and we won't have to face yet another failure. When we do that, though, we are cutting God short. Hasn't he promised us abundant life? Hasn't he proven his abilities to us through his word and in other people's lives? Doesn't he love us just as much as that other person that he blessed? With God, all things are possible (Matthew 19:26), and even though we might not always get the answer that we wanted, that doesn't mean we should stop asking.