these days

5 weeks to go.  Can that be real?  I remember when it was 5 MONTHS.  I look at the countdown and it says 35 days.  I'm still living in complete denial.  I go in the nursery and just stand there, looking at all the baby things scattered about.  I think to myself, "what do I need all this for?"

Although I only have 5 weeks until things change completely, and that is not a long period of time....these days have been dragging by so very slowly.  I will be happy when the doctor tells me that I can go back to work, even if it will only be for a few weeks.

In other news....well I guess there isn't really any other news.  Hmmm, let me think about this.

Movies I've watched recently:
Riding in Cars with Boys
The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants II (I never saw the first one, but apparently I didn't need to?)
Legends of the Fall (TV edited version)
I started watching Coraline, but I didn't catch it from the beginning, so I set it to tape when it is on in a few weeks.  I want to see it from the beginning.  I also set Kindergarten Cop to tape.  I used to watch that all the time when I was a little kid!

I'm getting really excited for my family to come and visit this summer.  I can't wait to spend some time with them, I miss them sorely.  First my parents in July - they have never seen our house or met our dogs!  Then Crystal, Martin, and Sam at the end of August!  Sam will have his first birthday while he is here.  I remember holding him when he was just a little baby bunting....

...Andrew and I were watching Parenthood and one of the family's 15 year old daughter was acting out.  As I was watching her complain and talk back to her dad I said allowed, "I hate her."  Hahah!  I can't believe how outrageous she is with her parents.  Andrew said something like, "you were the same way with your parents." At first I thought, that's absurd!  No way I was that way.  I responded, "but yeah, they were ridiculous.  I wasn't sneaking out to make out with boyfriends, I just wanted to hang out with church friends!  I didn't know studying the Bible was so bad!"  And it's true, I did want to spend most of my time at church.  But, and I thought about this after we finished watching that show and the 15 year old said something like, "this is ridiculous," that wasn't the point.  The point was that I wasn't spending any time with my family.  I wasn't respecting my parents, I didn't want to do what they told me to do, all I wanted to do was be with my friends and do what I wanted to do.  I look back and I wish that I had the time with them now that I wasted back then.  I never see them now.  They live far away.  Sometimes I miss them, and my sister, so badly that my insides ache.  It only gets worse the older I get.  I'm sure it will only get worse once I have a child that I don't get to share with them on a regular basis.  I'm sad that we aren't both rich so that we can travel back and forth as often as we wish.  I'm sad that they don't know my husband as well as they should, and so they miss out on how amazing he is.  Oh the things that teenagers take for granted!  Growing up isn't the glorious, responsibility-free life that I pictured it to be when I was a teenager and that's all I wanted to do - grow up.  It can be wonderful, don't get me wrong.  I love being married.  I love having my own home.  I will love being a mom.  But the sacrifices that must be made to have these things are sometimes more than I bargained for.  People reading this who live close to both sides of their family might not fully understand where I'm coming from.  Lucky them.


belly pictures

Andrew's mom, Karen, is a great photographer :)  Here's some pictures to prove it.

One of the whole family!

and last but certainly not least, the quilt that my dear friend Lisa made me!  Thank you Lisa, I LOVE it!


34 weeks

According to the doctor I'm measuring right on schedule....not small.  People tell me that I'm small because they are comparing me to other pregnant ladies.  I'm done being compared to everyone else, as the fact of the matter is that everyone is different :)  I assure you that I'm eating plenty of food and taking care of this baby.  That's all I will say about that. :P

Here are some pictures from today. Things are going ok.  I'm still contracting, so I have regular doctor's appts to check me and make sure I'm not progressing.  I have a feeling he'll stay in there well past term.  We just have to wait and see.


Baby Shower!

Thank you to all who came to the shower!  Big thanks to Karen and Diana for making it so special!  Here's some shots of the shower and of the nursery!

Marcia's Beautiful Paintings!

and one of the cutest nephew in the world that I got from my sister's camera!


what day is today?

I played Hexic, Bejeweled 2, Tetris, Peggle, Pacman, Contra, Sonic the Hedgehog, and Brain Challenge for hours today.  Thank you Xbox Live for your plethora of arcade games that I love.  I got so wrapped up in Hexic, particularly, that I stopped counting contractions.  It was a nice break from constantly counting them and dreading taking the horrible medicine that makes them stop.

My days are really starting to blur.  Could it be that I've only gone ONE week more?  33 weeks tomorrow.  I feel like I've been home for a lot longer than that.  Alas, tis true.

Baby shower this weekend.  Really looking forward to friends and food.


2 more weeks of bed rest

Things haven't changed much, but I am progressing very slowly according to the doctor.  So....at least 2 more weeks of bed rest.  I also am to keep taking the medication that helps stop these pre-term contractions.  The medication's side effects are awful, but I'm learning that it takes sacrifice to be a mommy, and this is one thing I must do!  The goal is to keep him in there as long as possible, and to get as close to the due date as I can.  Every week he is in there help his chances out here.

Bed rest is a very common thing.  It is something to take seriously, but nothing to get freaked out about.  God has been so present in this whole situation.  I've had nothing but good experiences at the Labor and Delivery Unit at St. Vincent.  I have a great husband who helps me with everything at home, and a great team of supporters around me.  My work situation is nothing I need to stress about, as they have found someone who is willing to cover for me when I need them to.  I'm usually the one worrying about everything, but in this case, I have been able to remain calm and composed.  God has given me an overwhelming peace about the whole situation.  Whatever happens......happens.  God is in complete control, and nothing I or any of the doctors do can change that.  I take great comfort knowing that my life is not my own!


Labor and Delivery

God knows what we need.  He knows what we're afraid of, and knows how to help us get past those fears.  My adventure this week showed me a clear picture of a God who cares enough to calm my most tangible fears.

I have been feeling crappy for a long time now, almost two weeks.  It started last Monday when I was having issues and made it to work about a half an hour later than I was supposed to.  Thank God for my understanding coworkers.  I've had my share of illnesses, maybe even more than most people, but nothing like I've experienced during pregnancy.  After I was able to finish out that work week of only three days, I was still not feeling great.  I had to cancel a Bible Study meeting that I have with my friend on Saturdays.  I wasn't sleeping well (although this had already been going on for months due to my growing belly and just all around discomfort) and I thought that was what was making me feel so down.  Monday rolled around and I still wasn't feeling great, but Tuesday was the real kicker.  I was supposed to go to work on Tuesday, as usual, but was unable to.  I woke up feeling ok, but as soon as I got up and started getting ready I was ill.  Flu like symptoms that I won't describe.  Another day of work missed.  How am I still employed there?

Thankfully, the symptoms didn't last long, and I was ready to rest and relax and go back to work on Wednesday.  Sadly, I guess it wasn't in the plan for me to go at all this week.  I sat up around 5 am on Wednesday after a fitful night's sleep.  I couldn't get comfortable and was having cramps on both sides of my abdomen.  I tried changing positions many times, sat up, moved around a bit...all this before finally realizing something wasn't really right.  I called labor and delivery.  They asked me different questions about the pains I was having, "how long do they last?"  "does your stomach get very tight?"  "do they come and go?"  Finally they told me it was a good idea for me to go to L&D to get checked.

Andrew and I set out around 7 am and we picked up his mom on the way.  St. Vincent Hospital is about 45 minutes from where I live.  I got there expecting to do mounds of paperwork, all the while getting slightly more uncomfortable.  The paperwork was minimal, although they did ask me quite a few questions and had me verify some things they already knew about me.

My nurse, Kris, was lovely.  She was sent just for me that day.  She was kind, knowledgeable, patient.  I was  hooked up to two monitors, one for the baby, and one for the contractions.  According the monitor, I wasn't crazy.  I was contracting regularly.  Contractions are fine, as long as they are not changing a woman's cervix.  After being checked it was clear that the contractions were starting to change mine.  It was softening, which according to the doctor isn't supposed to happen till about 36 weeks.  The main thing to do was to 1)get some water into my system as I was slightly dehydrated from my stomach issues the day before 2) get some food into me as I hadn't eaten anything that day (I rushed out the door when I thought I was in labor...and the last thing on my mind was food.) 3) stop the contractions.

They decided to give me a shot of Terbutaline, which is commonly used to stop/slow contractions.  It's given subcutaneously (just beneath the skin).  The actual needle stick didn't hurt much at all, but the medicine burned it's way into my body....and kept burning for awhile after the needle was gone.  Almost immediately I experienced the side effects of the drug.  My heart was racing, hands shaking, and I was short of breath.  It wasn't anything I couldn't handle, it was just really weird.  They also gave me a drug to help with that side effect, which made me sleepy.  Add that all together and you get a combination of shaky hands, fast beating heart, shortness of breath, and heavy eyelids.  Quite the weird combination.  All that mattered to me was that I stopped contracting, so that my son could remain inside till he was fully (or at least much more) developed.

After I was checked again and my contractions came almost to a halt, I was released with strict orders to stay off my feet and stay at home.  The doctor would be keeping a close eye on me from now on.

We left around 12:30.  What a day.  Since then things have been better.  I've been feeling like my belly is stretched as far as it will go, but I know that it has even more to stretch!  To all you who have been telling me I look small and asking "are you really pregnant?" - I'm growing right on target.  Everyone has a different body, so everyone carries differently.  According to the doctor, I'm right on schedule.

So - through all of that I learned to be less afraid of the hospital.  I had a great nurse and a great doctor to help me through a scary situation.  Because of that, I'm not so afraid to go the hospital when actual labor sets in.  God is good....all the time!
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