4.28.2010

these days

5 weeks to go.  Can that be real?  I remember when it was 5 MONTHS.  I look at the countdown and it says 35 days.  I'm still living in complete denial.  I go in the nursery and just stand there, looking at all the baby things scattered about.  I think to myself, "what do I need all this for?"

Although I only have 5 weeks until things change completely, and that is not a long period of time....these days have been dragging by so very slowly.  I will be happy when the doctor tells me that I can go back to work, even if it will only be for a few weeks.

In other news....well I guess there isn't really any other news.  Hmmm, let me think about this.

Movies I've watched recently:
Riding in Cars with Boys
The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants II (I never saw the first one, but apparently I didn't need to?)
Legends of the Fall (TV edited version)
I started watching Coraline, but I didn't catch it from the beginning, so I set it to tape when it is on in a few weeks.  I want to see it from the beginning.  I also set Kindergarten Cop to tape.  I used to watch that all the time when I was a little kid!

I'm getting really excited for my family to come and visit this summer.  I can't wait to spend some time with them, I miss them sorely.  First my parents in July - they have never seen our house or met our dogs!  Then Crystal, Martin, and Sam at the end of August!  Sam will have his first birthday while he is here.  I remember holding him when he was just a little baby bunting....

...Andrew and I were watching Parenthood and one of the family's 15 year old daughter was acting out.  As I was watching her complain and talk back to her dad I said allowed, "I hate her."  Hahah!  I can't believe how outrageous she is with her parents.  Andrew said something like, "you were the same way with your parents." At first I thought, that's absurd!  No way I was that way.  I responded, "but yeah, they were ridiculous.  I wasn't sneaking out to make out with boyfriends, I just wanted to hang out with church friends!  I didn't know studying the Bible was so bad!"  And it's true, I did want to spend most of my time at church.  But, and I thought about this after we finished watching that show and the 15 year old said something like, "this is ridiculous," that wasn't the point.  The point was that I wasn't spending any time with my family.  I wasn't respecting my parents, I didn't want to do what they told me to do, all I wanted to do was be with my friends and do what I wanted to do.  I look back and I wish that I had the time with them now that I wasted back then.  I never see them now.  They live far away.  Sometimes I miss them, and my sister, so badly that my insides ache.  It only gets worse the older I get.  I'm sure it will only get worse once I have a child that I don't get to share with them on a regular basis.  I'm sad that we aren't both rich so that we can travel back and forth as often as we wish.  I'm sad that they don't know my husband as well as they should, and so they miss out on how amazing he is.  Oh the things that teenagers take for granted!  Growing up isn't the glorious, responsibility-free life that I pictured it to be when I was a teenager and that's all I wanted to do - grow up.  It can be wonderful, don't get me wrong.  I love being married.  I love having my own home.  I will love being a mom.  But the sacrifices that must be made to have these things are sometimes more than I bargained for.  People reading this who live close to both sides of their family might not fully understand where I'm coming from.  Lucky them.

2 comments:

  1. Love Parenthood! I hate her too and luckily (?) I get to deal with 120 of those attitudes every day! :) But, there is always good with the bad, and the kids ARE nice people deep down inside. Sorry I made you stay away from your family all the time. bad lisa. :) You weren't horrible,... well, you did need to be punished by reading books and such. Maybe they always wanted you to stay home so that you would actually do some homework!!! :) hehehe. I enjoyed watching you grow up into this beautiful woman, wife, and mother! And your family is proud of you!!! The past is the past, we can only hope and pray that somehow we can see more of each other on this earth, but if not... there is MUCH time in heaven to be with one another! I know, not the same... but I think it will be better!

    I love you much!!!!

    P.S. Thanks for the cards! yay!!! I'm old (my students were shocked that I was turning 30... or at least they pretended really well to be shocked! :) )

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