I wish I could learn to be content. I have so much to be thankful for; I have so many things that others don't have. A house. A bed. A job. A family. Food.
With all that, I still find myself always wanting more. A bigger house. A more comfortable bed. Not having to work. Better food. Different circumstances.
I was having a bad night last night, the kind where I just wanted to get in bed, throw the covers over my head, and forget the world. My back has been hurting a lot lately, so I decided to try and put a foam pad on top of my mattress. Andrew went up in the attic and brought it down for me. It was what I used to sleep on way back when I lived with Lisa in the Washburn's basement apartment. When we unrolled it, I could see that there was a verse written on it. 1 Corinthians 14:33. After we put the foam pad and the sheet back on the mattress, I kissed Andrew and tucked myself into bed. I grabbed my Bible. It was on the bottom of a pile of books beside my bed. I flipped to 1 Corinthians, and this is what I read in the 33rd verse of the 14th chapter, "For God is not a God of disorder, but of peace."
Sometimes what I read in the Bible goes, sadly, in one eye and out the other. Other times, rarely, the words jump out at me from the page and hit me right where I am. I think God reserves these times for when I'm at my lowest point, when life feels hopeless. That's what happened to me last night. I was feeling miserable, trapped in circumstances that I couldn't control. Everything felt out of sorts, disorderly. Just when I thought that maybe God had stopped listening, stopped caring, He gave me the verse from 1 Corinthians. And with that in mind, I was able to turn out the light and fall fast asleep.
And, because I can, I'll share with you some recent pictures of the tiny love of my life.