7.02.2011

Reminiscent

Today I noticed how different Isaac is from when we first brought him home last year.  It dawned on me when I saw him look for a specific book, pick it up and put it in my hand, and plop himself down in front of me so I could read to him.  No infant can do that.  He's not an infant anymore.

Cleaning up his room the other day, I noticed a toy that saved my life more times than I can count while Isaac was a tiny, constantly crying baby.  It's a stuffed duck that has a button on each of it's hands and legs, and also one on it's stomach.  Each button plays a different instrument, except the one on the stomach that plays all the instruments together at the same time in a symphony of sorts.  If I remember right there are drums, a violin, a xylophone, and a tuba.  Laying on the mattress that I slept on in the nursery next to Isaac's crib, he and I listened to that duck night after night, sometimes for a very long time.  I pressed the duck's right hand, left hand, right foot, left foot OVER and OVER and OVER until my baby calmed down.  He finally gave in and let his eyelids droop.  His limbs relaxed.  He'd blink slowly, and the pacifier would stop moving up and down in his mouth.  Swaddle.  Crib.  Light out.  Fight to sleep until waking up in forty minutes to an hour and a half to breast feed.  Repeat, repeat, repeat...



I remember laying on that bed next to his crib and thinking, "I'd give anything to skip this and go straight to the walking and talking.  I'm so very tired."  Now as I look back at that time, I miss it.  I can't believe I'm saying that.  I never thought I'd say that.  But I do.  Today as I watched him walk barefoot at the park, climb up the stairs to the slide, stand up to play with the faucet in the bathtub, and hand me a book to read to him, I found myself swallowing down tears that threatened to choke me.  This baby is turning into a little boy!




While I was enduring it, I should have been relishing it.  It felt like the slowest year of my life.  I've never felt more tired, drained, used......

It felt like the longest year of my life.  In reality, I blinked, and it was gone!

2 comments:

  1. Well, someday, maybe you will get to do it all over again with another lil one. But yes, gone are the days when Isaac will be that lil baby. But, there are so many more new and exciting things ahead for him; and what fun it will be to experience it with him - like walking for the first time, running for the first time, talking in sentences, going to school, discovering Jesus for himself, ...

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  2. I can so relate to these feelings. Difficult to appreciate the phase you are in! Your little guy has beautiful eyes! Our new baby is coming in October and we are naming him Isaac, too. :)

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