Today was a bad day. I try to find the good in it and I can, but first let me just say that it was all around bad. There is no sugar coating it.
I picked up the baby from his crib, and he was hot to the touch. Not just hot where his face was smothered in his lovey, but hot all over. Hi back, his tummy, his legs, his feet, and his forehead. He whimpered, and if he could talk I think he would probably say something like, "momma, I hurt."
He had a small fever last night, but I didn't think anything of it because he's getting some teeth, and he's just settling back into the groove of being home and being at Grandma's. But this morning when the thermometer made an extra loud beep - the beep that cries "WARNING - THIS TEMP IS HIGH" - my heart skipped a beat. 102.1. No other symptoms. So, what's going on?
I decided to stay home with him. He continued to whimper as I changed his diaper, gave him some ibuprofen and a sippy, and turned on some cartoons. Dad said goodbye and went off to work with a nervous look on his face. He reassured me before he went, "that temps not too high."
In 15 minutes the temp went down to 101. Phew. He went back to sleep for an hour and a half. Upon awakening, he was still fussy, but cooler, and seemed content to just take it easy. He drank a little, and ate some applesauce and half a piece of toast with cream cheese on it. Then came the diarrhea. As awful as it was, at least it was something to go along with the fever. Maybe related, maybe not.
After numerous attempts to put him down for another nap he finally fell asleep at 11, and slept until 1. 2 hour nap....what a blessing. There's one good thing that happened today.
He woke up from his nap crying. Not just crying. Screaming. And burning. I picked him up and tried to reassure him that it was alright (even though I wasn't sure myself) but he still kept on....and on....and on. I picked him up because he reached for me - and he immediately arched his back and demanded to be put down. I put him down, and he reached to be picked up. I tried to put him in a luke-warm bath, he ran from the bathroom, put his hands against the wall, and banged his head. He cried harder. He threw himself on the floor and rolled around. I tried and tried and tried.....he cried and cried and cried. Fine. I'll call the doctor - again. (I had already talked to a nurse earlier about the high fever, and she told me to push fluids, check for other symptoms, keep up with the ibuprofen, monitor the temp and call her if it got higher than 103 or lasted more than a day) The person on the other side of the line could barely hear me over Isaac's fussy cries. She said, "sounds like you should bring him in." So, we rushed out the door. 10 minutes into our drive Isaac stops crying. He starts babbling and sideways smiling.
We get to the doctor's office and they get us in right away. He is an angel. No crying. He's hungry (even though he wouldn't eat ANYTHING after his nap for me at home), he's thirsty. His ears and throat look perfect. His heart and lungs sound perfect. He doesn't have a fever. NOTHING.
What I got was peace of mind. The doctor told me that there is a viral thing going around, and it might be roseola. I had that when I was a kid. A fever for a few days and then a rash and then it's done. Or he might not get a rash at all. She told me to push fluids, keep track of his temp every four hours, keep with the ibuprofen or acetaminophen every 6 hours, and call her tomorrow to report how things are going.
I felt foolish. But I shouldn't. I got what I needed, peace of mind and heart. There isn't anything suspicious brewing below the surface. He just has a fever, and it's not incredibly high, and he's just miserable. But he's ok. No crazy ear/throat infections, no stomach issues, no lung issues.
Now I'll talk about the good. The good things are : 1) we have insurance. I had the luxury of taking my child to the doctor. 2) we have a car, I was able to get to the doctor 3) I was able to be home with him and be his primary care giver on a day he really needed me. 4) Nothing obviously horrible is wrong with him.
I pray and ask God to give me wisdom and discernment as a mom. What to do, what not to do....it's all such a nerve wracking and heavy burden to bear. But He's there. He understands. He directs. He loves. He protects. And Isaac is ok.